So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
