fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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