Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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