Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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