Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
