someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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