remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
