I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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