I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
and she was petting her beer can
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
