Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
