for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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