just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
