Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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