So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
