1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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