I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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