don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
