This girl is more easily done than said...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
