he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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