BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
