That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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