do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i barfeds in our rink
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
