Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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