the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Sober January is a disaster.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i drank out of a bidet.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
