All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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