Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Randomize
