You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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