who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
