I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
