me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
