so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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