How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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