She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
