Apparently you make a good broom.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
