Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
