Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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