Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
