ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
