he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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