so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
