you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
