he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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