office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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