I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
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