I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
