he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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