are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
