i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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