I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
did you just send me my own nude
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
