This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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